We all have a need for love. The problem is that we are often conditioned to believe that we are separate from love and that we need to seek it outside ourselves in order to be whole. But the very opposite is true; love is our Source and it nourishes us by flowing through us, not to us. We’ve all heard the saying that we cannot truly love another until we love ourselves and this is an example of why. But even if we love ourselves, we each have a threshold for how much love we can give and receive based on our childhood experiences. The more open our heart is the greater capacity we have to love.
Being in love opens and expands the heart chakra as well. We call this “falling” in love when in actuality it is love rising. When we “rise in love” we are having parts of our true selves reflected back to us without judgment. We are able to love ourselves through the reflection of the other person’s mirror before power struggles set in. Suddenly we feel more energized, alive and hopeful than ever before. When we tune into this love, the heart chakra opens and we experience expansiveness in all areas of our life. The feelings are that of joy and happiness and those do wonders for the heart chakra.
Even health problems seem to improve and that’s because the heart chakra supercharges our immune system. We feel more creative, intelligent and more attractive. This is why when we first “rise” in love it seems magical. In the beginning, it is much easier to give love freely when we have not yet been hurt, disappointed or let down by another. When giving love unconditionally, love energy flows through us and raises our energy vibrations to such a level that we are left feeling blissful.
If our solar plexus is struggling, we will eventually sabotage this love. This is actually the “falling” out of love phase. We have given away our power and happiness by making others the custodians of our emotional wellbeing. If we have a need to receive love from another in order to feel love within, then we will be left feeling disappointed, let down and deeply unhappy. Our emotional love tank will run dry because the need itself is the emotional block to giving and receiving love. Although the intention may be good (to receive love) the very ‘need’ for love creates the illusion that we are separate from love and its source is outside of us. We expect others to continue to make us feel good about ourselves instead of doing that for ourselves. No one can hold that space for us all of the time and that expectation will eventually become a burden. Under the spell of the ego, any built up resentments start to fester and eventually destroy love between people. The end result is that the ego mind strengthens its position that we are separate and alone so we find ourselves becoming conditional lovers. We only give of our love when we feel we are emotionally being looked after. Then, what was once an expression of love, turns into a power struggle for energy.
You may have heard the saying that some people can bring out the worst or best in us depending on who they are. What might initially be character traits that attract us to an individual can soon turn into what annoys us most about them. In the beginning, it is easy to shine the light of goodness on someone with whom we have no disappointments or judgments. Over time though, through broken expectations and numerous disappointments, we might start to shine the light of judgment upon them instead. The end result is that we lose that feeling of being uplifted when we think about that individual and our hearts close down.
The highest expression of love is to allow others to be who they truly are with no judgments or no expectations, just freedom to be and to live as they choose. When we can do this we are in a state of allowing. Allowing life to unfold naturally, frees everyone involved to behave and be as they truly are. In doing so, we are granted the same freedom to express our true authentic selves and that opens all doors to love.
Shining the light of goodness for others is easily demonstrated with children. It is often more natural to hold children in the light of innocence as they have yet to be tainted by our judgments. This is why, in the eyes of a parent, their child can seem to do no wrong. They are able to hold their children in the highest of esteem. In some cases, a parent continues to hold this light for their children even as they mature into adulthood.
Whether we are aware of it or not, people intuit our judgments of them. When we are in a place of judging others, we are also judging ourselves. “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are,” (Anais Nin) meaning, that what you see in another you also see in yourself. The problem is that most of the judgments we hold are not true representations of who we are or the people we are judging. They are only a mirror reflection of the beliefs that we hold about ourselves, our past and the world around us. Our beliefs can hold us in the highest of esteem or the lowest of dark places depending on their original source.
Being consciously aware of when we have judgments and expectations attached to our love will free us from the painful patterns of sabotaging and projecting. It takes effort to remain in a loving space with the people we love, even if they have hurt us. When life challenges us at our very core, it’s even more difficult to give our love freely. It’s so much easier to stay connected when we feel good and life is peaceful. But if we can master the art of giving our love freely, no matter what is going on around us, then we will be rewarded with deeper, more meaningful relationships.
Feel the difference for yourself when you unconditionally give love to another instead of being concerned about receiving love back. The very act of giving love ensures that you will be loved because love has to flow through you to be passed on to another. You will be filled up with it from the inside out and if practiced daily, you will never ‘need’ for love again. It is a level of mastery that fosters growth, expansion and deep love if it is practiced daily. True love demands that we take full responsibility for our own words, actions, and intentions and put love first.
Consciously set intentions to allow this loving force to move through you as an expression of who you really are as you interact in the world. You can even ask for the Universe to nudge you the second you slip away from your truth so that you can consciously pull yourself back towards love. Little by little, this will become such a natural way of being that as soon as you start to shut down your love you will have instant awareness of the fact. Affirmation: I open my heart to greater and greater levels of love.
~ Exerpt from “You Can Heal Your Chakras” by Angela Strank