Rejection is a painful experience for anyone. We have all felt this deeply cutting emotion and some have experienced it more than others. Rejection leaves you feeling powerless, like there is something deeply wrong with you. If someone rejects you, you may feel like you are not good enough or that you are flawed in some way.
Often what people reject in others are the very things within themselves that they have not yet healed or embraced. The people who are the most judgmental are the ones who suffer the most in their self-esteem. They themselves may have been conditioned to believe that they are not good enough. Maybe they don’t feel they are loveable or worthy and so they seek to reject others to ensure on an unconscious level that it’s not just them. If someone is rejecting you, it may not be about you at all. We are all beautiful mirrors for each other reflecting back different aspects of ourselves.
When we are rejected the common theme is to experience anxiety. Rejection makes us feel powerless. When we are not in our power we project into the future to grasp onto some form of hope. But living in the future takes us out of the present moment and the physical response is to feel anxious. Will this feeling ever go away? Will I ever feel good again? Will I ever be loved again?
With time, we always do. The truth can be much kinder than the mind. The mind can convince us that this one person who doesn’t see our good is a reflection of everyone. But actually they are only the reflection of their own internal dialogue. Just because they find something within you to reject doesn’t mean they aren’t going to find the same issues to reject in another.
I have a coaching client who is overweight and had herself convinced that no man would ever want to be with her because of her size. I had to remind her that I too have been rejected in my life and I am 130 lbs at 5’10. Rejection doesn’t take favourites. It happens in many different ways to all of us at some point in life. But it’s what we do with it that matters. Do we take in the rejections of others and let it define who we are? Do we ultimately agree with them and then reject ourselves?
There will always be someone more beautiful, more intelligent, more skilled than you in the eyes of another. But you are perfect as you are. Like everyone, you are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are good. And yes…you are flawed. There are over 7 billion people on the planet and we are all a little broken. But what might be a considered a flaw to one person may be an incredible gift to another.
Don’t stop believing in yourself. You are perfect as you are.
~ Exerpt from “You Can Heal Your Chakras” by Angela Strank