We’ve all heard the saying that some people can bring out the worst or best in us depending on who they are. And what might initially be character traits that attract us to an individual can soon turn into what annoys us most about them. In the beginning, it is easy to shine the light of goodness on someone we have no disappointments or judgments about. Over time, through broken expectations and numerous disappointments we might start to shine the light of judgment upon them instead. The end result is that we lose the feeling of being uplifted when we think about that individual.
Whether we are aware of it or not people intuit our judgments of them. Being fully present when engaging with another helps break down these barriers. In this space, judgments and expectations cannot exist. In order to hold a judgment we have to live in the past and to have expectations we’ve already decided what the future should look like.
The highest expression of love is to allow others to be who they truly are. No judgments. No expectations. Just freedom to be and live as they choose. When we can do this we are in a state of allowing. Allowing life to unfold naturally which frees everyone involved to behave and be as they truly are. In doing so, we are granted the same freedom to express our true authentic selves which opens all doors to our greatest potential.
Shining the light of goodness for others is easily demonstrated with children. It is often more natural to hold children in the light of innocence as they have yet to be tainted by our judgments. This is why in the eyes of a parent their child can seem to do no wrong. They are able to hold their children in the highest of esteem. In some cases, a parent continues to hold this light for their children as they mature into adulthood. But why can’t we hold this same space for others? Why are we so incredibly judgmental towards each other?
I believe the answer is in our judgments towards ourselves and the expectations we place on others. When we are in a place of judging others, we are also judging ourselves. “We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are,” meaning, that what you see in another you may also be seeing in yourself.
The problem is that most judgments we hold are not a true representation of who we are or the people we are judging. They are only a mirror reflection of the beliefs we hold about ourselves, our lives, our past and the people around us. These beliefs can hold us in the highest of esteem or the lowest of dark places depending on their original source.
We all have innocence and good within us waiting to be witnessed. We can feel this goodness when we are with someone who mirrors our highest potential back to us. You know you are in the presence of someone who is doing this when you feel alive around them. They make you feel so comfortable that you are free to be your real, authentic self without judgment. Someone who no matter what sees you and accepts you just as you are.
This is a real gift that each of us can give another and has the power to change lives. Be mindful of your judgements and as a result you will be able to experience greater freedom and authenticity within yourself and your relationships.
~ Exerpt from “You Can Heal Your Chakras” by Angela Strank